Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Presidential Material

Do you believe…

1. Jesus Christ came to America;
2. He and his father, God, both appeared as two men in the flesh to Joseph Smith in 1820;
3. They then sent the angel Moroni, three years later, with some gold tablets written in “reformed Egyptian” which Joseph Smith translated by looking into his hat, creating the Book of Mormon;
4. On May 15, 1829, John the Baptist conferred the Aaronic Priesthood on Joseph Smith;
5. The Garden of Eden was in Missouri;
6. Adam was actually God;
7. The American Indians are descendants of ancient Hebrews who came across the Pacific in two waves, the first in 2250 B.C., the second in 600 B.C.;
8. They were cursed with black skin because of their evil deeds;
9. God speaks through his prophets, the presidents of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, which is the only true church; all other Christian churches are in error and the Book of Mormon was given to correct the errors of the Bible;
10. There are many gods; all men become gods?

If so, you are a Mormon.

Do you believe all the above is a load of hooey, but

11. Christ was born to a virgin who herself was born “immaculately” (i.e., without inheriting the sin of Adam);
12. The Bishop of Rome has the authority to speak for all other Christian bishops, and when he does so “ex cathedra” (i.e., “intending to demand irrevocable assent from all believers”) he must be believed because he is infallible?

Then you are a Roman Catholic.

Do you believe not only are 1-10 a load of hooey, but 11-12, as well, but

13. Jesus Christ walked on water;
14. Jesus Christ brought Lazarus back from the dead;
15. You will some day rise into heaven not merely in the spirit, but in the flesh as well?

Then you are a fundamentalist Christian.

Do you believe that 1-15 are a load of hooey and are you willing to say so publicly?

Then you will never be president of the United States of America.

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